April Cake.

Is it bad that the second I met you… I immediately had feelings for you?
I am not the type of person who just likes someone, but I guess you are different.
We automatically clicked as friends, and the rest is very personal.

Thank you for texting me from when I was on the greyhound until I got home.

And don’t get me started on our intense make out session. haha

If only.

To be quite honest. I am afraid I will never get the chance to say goodbye.
And it scares the shit outa me.

It is hard enough for me to ATTEMPT to imagine my life without you.
But it hurts even more knowing… these will be my last days ever seeing you again.
Ever hearing your voice and Seeing your smile.
I want to live in these moments forever.

Life sure knows how to break my heart repeatedly.

And to be quite honest….
I’d die at this very second if it meant you didn’t have to.

I ADORE.

I ADORE…….

- lemonade.
- long talks.
- talking about everything and nothing at the same time.
- my boys && besties. they complete me.
- traveling, anywhere and everywhere.
- baking for someone. becuase I love to see their eyes light up when I hand them it.
- going to shows e/ my budz. and just being ourselves.
- being surprised by someone. :)
- going out at night. I feel the most at peace then.
- swinging on swings at parks and just thinking back.
- reminiscing about life.
- and pretty much everything about life it general. it is just too damn beautiful.

Craig acoustic show @ mi casa.

Last night, I was blessed with having Craig play at my house.
It was positively amazing. I cannot begin to describe how I felt when Nick texted be yesterday morning about it, and how I felt as Time passed. Soon enough he came over with Nick, Brian, Kerrie, Joanna, and Whitney.

It was so great seeing Nick, Kerrie, and Craig again. I mean I see Nick all the time, but it is still alwyas great seeing him. And I haven’t seen Craig since the Cinematic Sunrise show last May. And I see Kerrie whenever she is randomly in San Diego. Everyone was so sweet.

About thriteen of my friends showed up, which is really great. I never knew my living room could hold that many people. I was so overjoyed that Gabe could make it too! That lovely amazing friend of mine. :) And he actually made the night so much better. Especially when He sang when Nick and Brian were playing weezer. Oh And did I mention that Gabe blew them away? haha he has an amazing voice. :)

Last night was the best night of my life so far. I cannot begin to describe how I feel. But, this all happened because of Nick. He organized it and put it all in place and I am eternally greatful to Craig, Nick, Brian, and everyone who made this happen.

I am at a turning point.

I feel I am at a turning point.
I have less than three months until I graduate, but for me, my turning point is happening now.

I guess the last 5 years or so… have been big turning points in my life.

All the amazing people I have met who have formed and changed me along the way. I have lost friends and gained new ones. I am thankful for everyone I have met because somehow they have drastically changed my life. One little impact can change a lot, more than anyone can even realize.

Everyone emphasizes how “high school will be the best years of your life”. I guess, so far, these have been my best years so far. But, it had nothing to do with high school. Every year as I grow older, each year gets better and better, probably because regardless what happens. I become a happier person.

Over the past few weeks and months, I have realized who are my real friends at school. I have few. I do have friends, but most of them… aren’t at my school. I have been detatched from high school for the past few years. Few people at my school even can admit to knowing me as a person anymore, and it is my fault.

I am not afraid of graduating, becuase I am just leaving behind a school. I believe whatever happens, happens. We all will embark on different lives anyways, and I will hold onto the memories but not the past.

Life travels fast, and I am just trying to keep up.

story. uno.

I met this guy once. It was for only roughly thirty minutes but I remember his face and voice so distinctively. He is one of the only things I remember of that night. It was almost two years ago, and I was watching From Autumn to Ashes at Soma. I went to the show with my friend Josh, but we would always enjoy the bands separately and then meet up later.

I try to live with no regrets. But my biggest regret was not getting this guys number or even getting his name. As time passes, I think of him more and more. However, despite all the shows I have been to and all the people I have met, I have never seen or met him again. At every shows, regardless how big or small, I look for him.

It is crazy how sometimes the shortest meetings can change someone. I honestly am not sure even if I want to know what happened to him. If that was the only show he went to. If he never lived here. If he moved away. If he stopped going to shows. Or whatever else. I am seriously scared of finding out something bad happened. But to be quite honest, I doubt he even remembers me. Because I talked to him for such a short period of time.

I guess if I am meant to see or meet him again. It will happen.
Or maybe I know him now and I don’t even know it.

Maybe I will never know.

Pain pain go away.

Today, I went to see my orthopedic doctor/surgeo. [technically he is both]
Anyways, today I experienced something new and learned something great.

Let’s start with the great news.
Today, as I was talking with my mom on the way to the hospital, I learned that SINCE I am on the Military health insurance and have been since birth…
In the future, when I attempt at getting health insurance…
I will be starting over and they won’t have any proof of any of my past problems, diseases, or illnesses. The military keeps everything confidential.
SO, just as long as I keep my secrets, I won’t have to worry about getting health insurance.
I have been worried for a while that my eye disease, immune system issues, chronic sternum pain, and random illnesses would keep me from ever being accepted to an insurance company.
How greatful I am that the military will keep my secrets.

Now for the new experience.
Today, to treate my nerve issues in my foot, I got a shot. My mom told me that “Oh it is going to hurt so much!”. blah blah blah. It didn’t hurt, honestly. I am so relieved. But, it took me a little while to get used to a numb foot. x]<3

story.

I would absolutely adore to tell a story and hear a few.

Storytelling is the shit.